Live It as you want it to be

  As the dream of most parents I had acquired a degree in Software Engineering and joined a company based in USA, the land of braves and opportunity. When I arrived in the USA, it was as if a dream had come true.

  Here at last I was in the place where I want to be. I decided I would be staying in this country for about Five years in which time I would have earned enough money to settle down in India.

  My father was a government employee and after his retirement,the only asset he could acquire was a decent one bedroom flat.I wanted to do some thing more than him. I started feeling homesick and lonely as the time passed. I used to call home and speak to my parents every week using cheap international phone cards. Two years passed, two years of Burgers at McDonald's and pizzas and discos and 2 years watching the foreign exchange rate getting happy whenever the Rupee value went down.

  Finally I decided to get married. Told my parents that I have only 10 days of holidays and everything must be done within these 10 days. I got my ticket booked in the cheapest flight.Was jubilant and was actually enjoying hopping for gifts for all my friends back home. If I miss anyone then there will be talks. After reaching home I spent home one week going through all the photographs of girls and as the time was getting shorter I was forced to select one candidate.

  In-laws told me, to my surprise, that I would have to get married in 2-3 days, as I will not get anymore holidays. After the marriage, it was time to return to USA, after giving some money to my parents and telling the neighbors to look after them, we returned to USA.

  My wife enjoyed this country for about two months and then she started feeling lonely. The frequency of calling India increased to twice in a week sometimes 3 times a week. Our savings started diminishing.

  After two more years we started to have kids. Two lovely kids, a boy and a girl, were gifted to us by the almighty. Every time I spoke to my parents, they asked me to come to India so that they can see their grand-children.

  Every year I decide to go to India. But part work part monetary conditions prevented it. Years went by and visiting India was a distant dream. Then suddenly one day I got a message that my parents were seriously sick. I tried but I couldn't get any holidays and thus could not go to India ... The next message I got was my parents had passed away and as there was no one to do the last rights the society members had done whatever they could. I was depressed. My parents had passed away without seeing their grand children.

  After couple more years passed away, much to my children's dislike and my wife's joy we returned to India to settle down. I started to look for a suitable property, but to my dismay my savings were short and the property prices had gone up during all these years. I had to return to the USA...

  My wife refused to come back with me and my children refused to stay in India... My 2 children and I returned to USA after promising my wife I would be back for good after two years.

  Time passed by, my daughter decided to get married to an American and my son was happy living in USA... I decided that had enough and wound-up every thing and returned to India... I had just enough money to buy a decent 02 bedroom flat in a well-developed locality.

  Now I am 60 years old and the only time I go out of the flat is for the routine visit to the nearby temple. My faithful wife has also left me and gone to the holy abode.Sometimes I wondered was it worth all this?My father, even after staying in India,had a house to his name and I too have the same nothing more.I lost my parents and children for just ONE EXTRA BEDROOM.

  Looking out from the window I see a lot of children dancing.This damned cable TV has spoiled our new generation and these children are losing their values and culture because of it. I get occasional cards from my children asking I am alright. Well at least they remember me.

  Now perhaps after I die it will be the neighbors again who will be performing my last rights, God Bless them.But the question still remains 'was all this worth it?' I am still searching for an answer!

START THINKING
IS IT JUST FOR ONE EXTRA BEDROOM???

LIFE IS BEYOND THIS …..DON'T JUST LEAVE YOUR LIFE ……..
START LIVING IT …….
LIVE IT AS YOU WANT IT TO BE

                                                                                              By an Indian engineer 

Holiday

   来到异地后，会深切觉得心爱的马来西亚不只是个美食天堂，文化天堂，还是个"假日天堂"

   所谓的"假日天堂"，是公假多得让别国员工羡慕，雇主气愤心头。“五.一”小假期对于已在沙漠中逐渐枯萎的小草(沙漠有小草吗？),就像是个比兴奋剂还来得有效的生命泉水。

   放假咯！！

五.一劳动节

   走着走着,跑到朋友家,继续体会那种在异地见熟悉朋友的反差感觉。

  喜欢随性。两个人没有计划,漫无目的的走在街上,看看周遭的一切风景和情绪,走着走着,却回到了原先的起始点.是巧合,还是注定?

  喜欢懒懒地躺在沙发上，放肆的懒懒。在外的几年，沙发变得好像好久不见的古物。

  喜欢逛少人的大超市，喜欢那种被周遭货物围绕的感觉，就像是自己有永远吃不完的面包和巧克力，喝不完的纯牛奶，用不完的洗发剂。在这里，心也跟着翩翩起舞。

午后的悠闲

  喜欢拍照，却都在拍那些古里古怪很思考性的照片。不管走到哪里，脑筋总在思考，新奇古怪的点子总是不断在翻转。如果有一天看见我正拿着相机和笔记在某地游荡当起杂志旅游记者，真的，是我。不可思议和意想不到，总在我血液里流动。

概念书店咖啡馆

陪伴

  喜欢听歌，人越长越大，对洛克越来越少兴趣，只喜欢轻轻的音乐，却矛盾的希望能再次在舞台上真正洛克起来。

  舌头很怕烫，却矛盾的很喜欢喝温热汤，感觉那股温暖。紫菜蛋皮汤，番薯汤，花生莲藕汤，忠诚的一直最爱。

紫菜蛋皮汤  

RM0.80的昔日PEPSI

  喜欢巧遇的感觉，在喝着汤时发现一个女港星在同一店内，跟她家人。我兴趣的，不是她的装扮，而是为什么她老是每3，5分钟就开一次化妆盒在她那粉脂厚的不得了的脸继续补妆。她喝的汤里，会不会有不甚飘落的细粉？

  喜欢看书，却矛盾的买了很多书都还没看。曾经好几次，都在书店带了一整个下午，被书香熏陶的感觉，心灵也跟着精神奕奕起来。

  原来这小假日，做了很多自己喜欢的事～

  人生有潮起就有潮落,这段时间被一些事情困扰了自己太久 。其实很多烦恼是虚幻出来的，为何要用真实去承受?

画一个世界

  其实青春很简单：或许你曾不听劝，瞎折腾，吃过苦，享过福，碰过壁，再使劲折腾，后来累了，才发现自己早已转了大圈，最后却又回到原地。别后悔别埋怨，因为不转这圈儿，你可能永远都不会知道，真正的“原地”在哪里？

继续.行走世界

If you love someone

@语言老师说：如果你爱一个人， 不是下课给人家买买水,不是短信发来发去,也不是周末一起出来唱唱歌聊聊天吃吃饭打打电动， 而是立志做一个出色的人。

对，充分出色的人

以后的以后,可能还有別的人爱它。你要做的,是把别人都比下去。

你要变得优秀,要比其他人都优秀。只有你才最珍惜它，不管怎么。

要相信，未来不止是未知，爱情能改变现实。

哪怕真有天它走了

只告诉自己，自己失去的是一个不喜欢自己的人

而它失去的，是一个爱它的人

@语言老师说：如果你爱一个人，不是要向它要求什么，而是好好的明白它，
Understand her. In order to understand her now, you must learn about her past and understand that first because her past is what made her who she is now, maybe she’s been hurt so much it’s hard for her to trust so she puts these walls up around her and barricades her heart, she’s afraid that just maybe that if she opens up again that she will end up hurt again and she doesn’t want to go through that phase again. With that being said you have to listen to what she says, get to know what her mind is like, her thoughts are a representation of her feelings. You have to get to know her for who she is and always be honest with her so you can slowly build this trusting relationship with her. Don’t be the guy that doesn’t understanding, because you never took the time to learn and understand her past, you know？

爱没有合不合适，只有珍惜不珍惜

    刚搬进这个房子的那天，她整理完全部的东西，最后拿出一个非常精致的玻璃瓶，对他说道：“亲爱的，3个月内，你让我每哭一次，我就往里面加一滴水，代表我的眼泪。要是它满了，我就收拾我的东西离开这房子。”  
    男人不以为然，有点纳闷：“你们女人也太神经质了吧！就这么不信任我么，那还有什么可谈？我让你搬过来和我一起生活，是为了照顾你，不是欺负你的！”  
    女人说：“好男人不会让心爱的女人受一点点伤，我会记录下我为什么流泪，不会是莫名其妙的。”  
    “那好吧，抱抱～！”    
    两个月后，女人把那瓶子给男人看，说：“已经满一半了，在两个月内，我们是否有必要查看一下是什么问题呢？”说完递了一本精致的小笔记本给男人。  
    男人没有马上打开来看，他的表情里有一丝惊讶，还有点哭笑不得的意味，似乎没有想到女人的眼泪可以这么多，盛得这么快，又觉得女人是小题大作了，但是很可爱。  
    他打开本子开始看，惊讶女人怎么写了那么多。男人一边看着，女人一边说话：“第一次吵架，是在第3天，而且还是一大早，你刚醒来有点懵懂，挤的牙膏不知道怎么的飞到镜子上了，那是我刚擦干净的，我说你连挤牙膏都不会啊，你就来脾气了，然后吵起来……”  
    男人沉默着。女人继续说：“有天晚上我让你帮洗下那几件衣服，因为水太凉，你只顾着玩游戏迟迟不肯动，后来吵起来，我很失望你忘记了我的生理期不能碰冷水，委屈……” 　　“还有一次，我很累了，你还不肯去洗澡睡觉，明明知道我特敏感，有点神经衰弱，哪怕一点点敲键盘的声音都能让我难以入睡，我一情急就说了你这个人自私的话，我们吵起来，你说了一大堆辩论自己不自私自私的人是我之后甩门出去上网通宵，我打你电话你没拿我又不敢自己一个人去找你……”
    女人这时候有点激动了，眼球开始泛红，说：“还有一次……”男人打断了她的话，“亲爱的，别说了……”  
    沉默…长久的沉默……  
    还是女人打破了沉默：“是不是我们真的不合适？如果是这样，结婚了还是会离婚吧？我们的个性都那么强，谁都不肯退让。”  
    气氛有点尴尬。  
    本子里记录的事情都是那么细小的事情，每次吵架的原因都是那么的简单，男人看着这本子，似乎在体会着女人的心情，大男子是不会去计较这些小事，原本觉得每次和好之后都没事，女人就爱拿这些来说事，但是当他认真去看的时候，他也开始难过了，女人很细心，把事件、心情都写了，还自己总结了一下原因。原来最微小的事情累积起来是很让人痛苦的，他看得出女人从失望变成绝望。  
    他想，大概是因为每次吵架，两人都是喜欢在吵架中找出对方不爱自己的证据。他突然意识到，这是个很严重的问题！而且每次吵架，双方都是在心情不稳定的时候，就是还有别的烦心事的时候，把不好的情绪带进了两个人的生活里。
   “亲爱的别难过……”男人终于说话了：“我请个假，我们去旅游吧。”  
    他们去了第一次一起旅游的地方，太多美好的回忆被唤起，原来彼此是那么深深地爱着对方，这时的女人特别温柔，这时的男人特别体贴。  
   “亲爱的，你还认为我们结婚的话，会离婚么？”男人问。  
    “我想不是我们不合适，像现在，我们是那么快乐，一切都那么美好，可是一回到我们的现实生活里，为什么就变了呢？”  
    “亲爱的，难道我们现在不在现实里吗？”  
    “……”女人楞了。  
    “因为那时候我们都把注意力集中在负面的事物上并且放大了那些负面的心情。并且喜欢找对方不爱自己的证据，然后彼此个性都很倔不肯服输太要面子。”  
    女人觉得确实是如此，原来，双方只是需要一点点忍让，一点点包容。男人带她回顾这初次旅游的地点，是真的用心了，想起那时候他们在一起还不久，为了让对方觉得自己好，都表现出自己最好的一面。  
    “还有半个月，如果那瓶子还是半瓶，那么，亲爱的，嫁给我吧！” 女人钻进男人怀里笑开了颜!  
    后来他们结婚了。很少再吵架。如果粗心的男人不小心碰掉了杯子，女人不会再开口就骂，因为在女人开口之前，男人已经在道歉，说对不起，都是我不小心的，赔两个给老婆！老婆尽管去选你喜欢的！女人就笑了，然后说，不用买啦，反正还有杯子，再说也不都是你的错，怪我自己没把杯子放好，让你碰到啦！


或许，爱情里面，真的没有适不适合，只有珍不珍惜？
以前我总是很天真的认为自己的另一半一定要是能够完全符合自己性格的，
傻傻几十年，才发觉原来就没有另一个人是完全符合自己的，
世界上没有人可以完全和你匹配或相同性格，只看你能不能去包容接纳对方的不完美。
简单一句，
若要一起，不管对方有多少你接受不了的弱点，自己都会找千万个去支持你的"适合"理由。
若要分开，不管对方是否多好，自己都会找有千万个去支持你的"不适合"理由。
其实是看有没有心去维持，带着的是什么心态，当然前提是要双方都要有心，只是一方面珍惜或付出就会跑出种种理由。
所以，适不适合，基本已经不成立了～

要珍惜，首先是双方都还有爱，才有心去维持。若分开，简单就是其中一方的爱已不在了，没了爱哪还有心去维持？没心还会用乐观，好的方面去想对方吗？不会那是不是越看对方越不顺眼呢？（哪怕他／她做错了只是件小事）越看越不顺眼是不是会想：＂怎么我们性格差那么大？是不是不适合？＂当你满脑子都是负面的东西，你就会放弃。

Law of attraction： A metaphysical belief or theory, that "like attract like", and that by focusing on positive and negative thoughts, one can bring about positive or negative results.

自认爱情经验不高，没本事去说大道理，只能从其他角度去看待。好比对待bandmate。一直觉得bandmate是个比女友还烦人的事情，为什么？女友只是一个，bandmate是至少3-4个，同时面对3-4个是不是更烦？自己的band,三个人都是不同背景，喜欢的歌路完全不同，处理方式完全不同，但到最后还是在一起了。我一直觉得这是个奇迹，但至少到现在，还是会为这奇迹而微笑。我们的确大吵过（不止一次），大闹过（虽然都是大人了），但参与过其他band的我深深能感受到，尽管彼此不是最好的，但在一起的那种感觉，是别人怎么样都给不到的。理智来说，我们的确不适合，但是我真的很珍惜。同样的道理，套用在不同的事情。

不管怎么样，前提是：只要没太极端

你觉得呢？             

汗与梦

                                   汗，为美梦而流动 如川流 生生不息地绽放发光发热 
                      水点将苦与乐连接 交织一生渴望与心跳 汗腺 为平凡命里释出改变